DPA 2014 Day 0
POSTED ON: Tuesday, 21 January 2014 @ 09:22 | 0 comments
So here I am, typing this as I'm lying on the sofa bed in my school's loft apartmentbeing the odd one out, I was last to reach the apartment
so I have to sleep in the living room
:(
alone
I'm excited for DPA'14
but I'm very scared of meeting new people
cause it'll mean that more people will know me, and judge me
I'm scared that I'll do anything wrong
I'm scared that my juniors won't like me as much as they'll like the outgoing fun teammates that I'll be working with for the next three days
stupid chiling
why am I so worried
sigh
I'm finally dropped to an acceptable (still fat though) weight
Yesterday after looking at myself in the mirror, and after looking at the weighing scale
I had a tint of hope
maybe I can be thin!
then
I came to school
look as so many skinny people (not to mention beautiful and pretty girls)
I came to DPA camp
look as so many friends who are so so so nice looking
and I can't help but wonder
How long more will I need to persevere, to get to the body size that I'll finally be pleased with
What body size do I actually want
bone thin?
no not really
healthy thin
that's it
it's hard to maintain a diet
but I'll persevere :)
because at least I'm still eating
and (bold underline italic for emphasis) i am eating healthily
many fruits and vegetables
I miss you
so much
I'm terrified
that I'll never see you again
-[chi ling]-
