Why will you do that?

POSTED ON: Wednesday, 30 October 2013 @ 08:25 | 0 comments

As I walked down the dark street of Punggol,
I felt kinda really sad all of a sudden
It's the kind of empty sadness whereby I don't know why I'm sad
and I couldn't wait to reach home and see my mother
whilst feeling empty and kinda alone, I reached the short traffic light in front of my block
and I felt the sudden need to rant about people and traffic lights

As I was growing up, I've been taught by my parents and teachers
"You need to wait for the green light to cross the road.
Red means stop
Green means go."
It's that simple right? You teach this in preschool
You teach it to every kid
but who actually practice what they preach??
I am very against of people jay-walking if they are not having urgent matters
I mean, the traffic light is there for a reason
if the road is meant for you to cross whenever you want to,
then in place of the traffic light should be a zebra-crossing
you get what I mean here?

I understand that sometimes people jaywalk because they are really in a hurry
but if you aren't, couldn't you just walk for the light to turn green? is it that hard to wait for a little while?
I get ESPECIALLY frustrated when I see adults jaywalking WITH little children
if you want to break the law, so be it, you're an adult and you can lead your own life
but why would you influence little children to break the law with you
//headdesk
by doing that you're just teaching the child that "oh it's okay to cross the traffic when the red light is still flashing. you don't have to bother what your teachers in school teach you"
what?

//takes 10 deep breaths and calms down
today is october 30th
and you know what that means?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELICIA <3
today ting and I went to dover to surprise belo
and I acted like I was really upset
and I made belo run out from SP to the mrt
and we surprised her and made her cry :')
MISCHIEF MANAGED

have I ever raved about westlife
cause westlife is one of the best boybands ever <3


-[chi ling]-
my mantra is now N O F A T E
kidding
no really

Just a short update on my life

POSTED ON: Monday, 28 October 2013 @ 06:55 | 0 comments

Just a little update about my life
seeing that I have 3 assignments due within the next four weeks, I'm guessing I won't have much time to post much

Family
I rarely get to see my family members now
I come back every day to an almost empty house
and tbh it gets a little cold and lonely sometimes
but ohwell I tell myself that this is part and parcel of life
everybody is so busy with their own stuff

Health
I am sick
yay wow what's new
basically i lost my voice, got a cold and a high fever
the hot sun gave me my fever, and the cold rain gave me my cold
hurray
time to spam more vitamin Cs!

School
It's the third week of school
and I'm finally feeling more comfortable with the timetable
cause on the first week, there wasn't monday and tuesday lessons
and on the second week, there wasn't wednesday, thursday and friday lessons
so this week is 'official' whereby there isn't any more breaks
I'm also slowly getting used to using more writing + notebooks and lesser computer for lessons
cause among the 6 modules this sem, technically only one module needs the laptop (child dev)
note to self: I gotta go and buy more notebooks! 3 weeks into lessons and i've already used up a quarter of my notebook //gasp

school work isn't that tough
lessons are usually fun and interesting
and we're starting to do up lesson plans
//puts on headband
time to set up Muggerhood 1.2

Guitar is finally starting CCA again for freshies
I've not forgotten my goal for this sem
so I'm gonna try to make it for every session!
Every Tuesdays and Fridays //I can do this

my school clique has been actively going for school workshops/ events
such as the zest up! talk and the halloween board games thingy
we might have only signed up because of the incentives
key word, might //winks

now something serious
HOT exco selection registration is real real real real  soon!
I'm really nervous
what if I don't get in
what if I screw up the interviews and stuff
what if I'm not capable enough
what if everybody hates me
ugh
i wasn't even this nervous during student council exco selection
and to be really honest my desire drive now is stronger than before
that would probably explain why I am so nervous about this
it doesn't help that I am terrible at interviews :(
I get all so jittery and nervous and out of focus and timid during interviews!
oh gosh
//takes 10 deep breathes
I should probably calm down
what matters most is I try my best and give it my all, right?
right
okay

Music
Atlas & Atlantic is coming up with another cover!
100 points to hufflepuff if you can guess what song we're covering next!
Cajon classes are really fun
during Cajon class we get to be exposed to different variations of beats and music genres
today we grooved in to Lego house by Ed Sheeran
which apparently is really really nice (:



-[chi ling]-

I'm just a little bug

POSTED ON: Thursday, 24 October 2013 @ 05:39 | 0 comments

saw this on tumblr and found it really interesting
it's amazing how you can affect my mood

I'm pretty sure all my friends are counting down to the day where I stop this nonsense
but tbh I'm pretty sure this wont go away soon
so I might as well try to make sense of what's happening to me right now

I remember this chinese children song that I've learnt when I was little
the lyrics goes a little like
"Mother you're a big tree,
and I am just a little caterpillar.
Everyday I eat a little of your leaves,
but you have no complaints."
I always feel so grateful to everyone and everything around me
and I believe everything happens for a reason
you can do this chiling!

these few days this song keep replaying in my head



-[chi ling]-

Talent, heredity or trained

POSTED ON: Tuesday, 22 October 2013 @ 07:34 | 0 comments

Today marks the 5th day of school, and I basically more or less understand what all the modules are about
There is this particular module that is totally made for me : creative arts for young children, aka CAYC, aka creative arts.
Not that I'm creative (I'm not btw)
but it has music & movement in it
and after 2 lectures and 2 tutorials of creative arts,
it made me think of the issue of talent, heredity or trained.
basically whether you are gifted, or your 'talents' are natured or nurtured
[if I'm making any sense at all]

okay let's start with a rhetorical question: what is your talent?
whenever I face this question during introductions, I will say "playing music instruments"
but is that really my talent? or is that my interest?
hmmmm
because I am not exactly talented in playing the musical instruments, but just that I know how to play many instruments
so is that still called talent?

by the way side note if you don't know yet
I play the piano, cello, cajon, guitar, ukelele [arranged according to how well I play each of them]
I've started playing the piano since 3
cello since 13
cajon since well, this year
guitar since sec 3
and uke since last year (16)

I think I got my love for playing instruments from my parents
(see this is the heredity part)
my mother plays the pi pa (chinese instrument)
my father plays the er hu, di zi, gu zheng and many more (meaning to say, he's like me/ I'm like him)
my parents met in the local community centre orchestra (I think)
Basically it means that I'm born into a musical family
so did I naturally love playing instruments?
or do I love it cause i've been trained to love it

since young, I've been 'forced' to practice my instruments
quite vigorously in fact
since both my parents understand music and understand that you need to practice
and especially for cello since you can actually hear when it is out of tune
and my parents have good pitches
meant that I've been practicing instruments all my life

so this brings me to the question
am I actually talented in playing instruments? or do I know how to play instruments because I have my parents' genes? or is it because of the countless of practices that make me love playing instruments?

you see my point there?
no?
it's okay, I don't get it either

If you have been living under a rock or something:
Atlas & Atlantic has a new cover! :) Pumped up kicks by Foster the people
go ahead and view it, comment, like, share, and sUBSCRIBE




-[chi ling]-

Goals to be met this semester

POSTED ON: Wednesday, 16 October 2013 @ 07:52 | 0 comments

Since it's the new semester, I figured out I need to have some goals to motivate and drive myself through the next half year
To make things easier, I've made 5 goals that is challenging yet attainable and achievable!
(see I'm putting what I've learnt in EEPP to good use //pats my own head)
[BIG DISCLAIMER: please do not judge me]

1. Start doing assignments as soon as I get them! And start revising the examinable materials the way it is taught during Effective Learners Workshop!
In all my studying years, the hardest challenge I face, ever, is to be efficient and to NOT procrastinate
life is hard when you are a lazy perfectionist <- not that it is anyone else's fault but mine
Last sem I had to rush out a 50% assignment, and I even submitted my work late
what a bad experience that was
this sem there will be more assignments, more stress, and of course to cope I must be constant throughout and do my assignments continuously!

2. Say yes to more stuff!
Last sem I struggled to say yes to many things.
I constantly had to debate with myself "oh should I do this should I do that but but but"
well, from this sem onwards I plan to say yes to more!
One example is that I've said yes to performing in strings (as in we have a concert and we juniors had a say in if we want to perform or not. I decided to say yes to it //beams with pride)
Saying yes is challenging for me now, cause it'll mean that I have to be more hard working and actually interact with more people! -gasp-
but hey, you only get to be year 1 once, YOLO and say YES

3. I'm actually aiming to be part of the exco
yes. you've read it right. please don't judge me.
Poly is so much so much different from secondary school
I am very positive that the experience of being in exco would be vastly different too!
I really want to learn to be responsible and committed
to prove to myself and to all around me that I am indeed capable enough to meet my (and people around me) expectations
and of course to serve the school //HMS pride woooh
In secondary school you can always count on the teachers to back up for you and your mistakes
but in poly (if I am correct?) it is the students who are on their own
the lecturers would just be there to advise
I want to learn how to be independent, to work as a team, to be a better leader, to organise events and many more!
exco selection is this sem I think
and I am aiming for it!
[I can't be positive in knowing whether or not I'll be selected, seeing that in poly there are so many talented potentials. nonetheless I'll try my best! after all we're all here to learn, right?]

4. To be more committed to things I've signed up for
this is mostly directed to my cca
I haven't been going for guitar for ages
because I found it a waste of time
not that i'm being cocky, but the truth is I am never learning anything when I go for cca
I already know how to read notes, so tbh the beginner sections are redundant to me
but I realised that since I've signed up for this, it is my responsibility to follow through it!
so yes, be committed to things I've signed up for!

5. This is probably one of the most impt one: to step out of my comfort zone!
to make it more specific, I aim to step out of my comfort zones at least 5 times this semester!
 
as you can see from the venn diagrams above,
you can't learn much if you don't step out of your comfort zone
and since YOLO
we need to treasure every moment we have to learn
so yes
STEP OUT of my comfort zones

As you can see, all 5 goals are interlinked
I am going to paste my goals up on my wall, and read it everyday to remind myself what I'm aiming for
and to Carpe Diem

Today was the first day of school
and I've already had 8 hours of lessons //tired
we had 3 lectures in the same LT
funny story: the LT had been built for a smaller lecture group
so since my course is too big
some people had to sit on the floor during lectures

I'm actually looking forward to the modules I'm taking this semester!
We get to play, move around and learn more outside-of-the-texbook stuff!
let's hope my excitement doesn't die down

today's music video is a song I've just heard yesterday
and honestly this song speaks so much to me
not entirely through the lyrics, but the song as a whole
Honestly I am a mess right now
but I am working my way through each day with the support of my friends and family beside me <3


if only I wasn't such a coward

-[chi ling]-

Thank you to everyone during the camp

POSTED ON: Tuesday, 15 October 2013 @ 08:39 | 0 comments

as promised, here's a blog entry about the two camps that I've went
I don't really have the mood to type all little details about the camps, but I'll try to elaborate the top 3 events that was memorable in no particular order of memorable-ness

Water games (HOT camp)
This game is by far the best water game I've ever played
and that's kinda saying a lot cause I have went to a lot of camps!
not only are the games interesting, the excos/game masters know to be flexible enough to let us change the games a little here and there to make the games more challenging and fun for everybody
yay!
I think the games were mostly really fun because my group mates were all actively participating :)
(and the fact that we all got drenched with water)

Amazing race around west cost (LAC)
for this race we had to take the bus all the way to west coast area to play the 6 station games located all around
it helped a lot that one of my group mate happens to live in that area
so we didn't actually get lost
the fun part of this whole race is the part where we had to find the QR codes
and believe me, even when you have many pairs of eyes looking for that one piece of paper
it isn't that easy, cause it is so easy to be careless look past the spot where the QR code is
it was also fun that the small station games were small (if I make any sense at all)
as in like, it wouldn't be really fun if the games were really challenging because then it will make us unmotivated to go to the other stations
and like if it is simple little games, we'll be like "YAY one station down another station to go let's go!"
we had the chance to run around the area, instead of being stuck in school
and I feel happy to have the experience to roam around the area

Nightwalk/games (LAC)
as usual, I got really freaked out during nightwalk/games
what's new
but this one is different than all other nightwalk/games I've went to
we actually get to play a lot of small station games to 'get the clues' to complete our mission to 'find the kidnapper'
so we actually have an aim and a motivation to play the games
(unlike other nightwalks where we only get to only walk)
it also adds on the thrill because there were 'ghosts' roaming around to capture you and disturb you
(and yes, I got totally freaked out by the 'ghosts', if you were wondering)
the small station games are actually really interesting
especially the trust fall station
it was my first time to actually do such an activity
and I am amazed at how a group's effort is able to carry the weight, no matter how big the weight is

okay here's the part where it gets tricky
I've promised myself and a few of my group mates that I'll challenge myself by typing gratitude messages to each group member of the camps
sorry if the messages seem too short, cause this is just a brief one
//I am not overly fond of expressing my feelings btw, thus the challenge
so here goes:

HOT Camp
Jaslyn
Thank you girl for being so sweet and supportive for the team. Even though we haven't talked much, but I really enjoyed your company during camp! It has been really fun knowing you more during our late night htht :)

Iffah
Thank you for being such a great leader, by taking so much initiative in hyping up the group and to start the ball rolling for the rest of us to learn from you! Thank you too, for helping with the dance choreography. I really like your happy personality heh :)

Hidayah
Thank you for being a sweetie to the team! Your listening ear is always present for us, and your insightful input into the games are really appreciated. It's so sad that you had to go on the second evening, but I'm sure there will be more times for us to interact together next time! :)

Annabelle
Thank you for being so bubbly and hyper during the camp, and always stepping out to help all of us when we need it! I really love how you will suddenly sing while walking, cause it really boosted the morality of the group! :)

Shawn
Thank you for being the guy of the team! As in like, thank you for helping out with whatever you saw that we needed help in, like taking all the meal boxes and stuff. Thank you too, for making the camp so interesting and fun for all of us! :)

Veron
Thank you for being there for us and being active in all the activities! Your activeness makes every game more fun cause we were all motivated by you! Your voice is simply marvellous //heart melt. Thank you for helping all of us in the performance for the singing part! :)

Jing Xuan
Thank you for being in this team with me! It really helped that you're someone familiar to me, deeply appreciate it! Thank you for being so sweet and speaking up whenever we need suggestions! Your dance moves are amazing heh. It's sad that you always have to go off for CCAs, but I'm really moved when you came back for the performance night for us! :)

Min Yi
Thank you for teaching us so much about leadership! Your experiences and stories for us has taught me much. Thank you too for facillitating in our activities, and for encouraging us to initiate more and speak up more! Hope to see you around school :)

Angel
Thank you for taking such good care of us and being so lovely! I've learnt so much from you during the camp, and I really hope I'll have more chance to spend time with you! Thank you for sharing your stories with us, and for being so understanding! You're such a lovely senior heh! :)

Excos
Major thank you for organizing such a fantastic camp! I'm really thankful for all the hard work each and every exco has put into making the camp a success! You guys come up with so many creative games //many claps for you. Even if I did not spend much time to interact with any of you during the camp, I could see that you guys want us campers to take away as much as possible, be it values, friendships or skills. Kudos to all of you //bows :)

LAC
Chen Wei
Thank you for being a big sister to all of us and taking care of us so well! I especially want to thank you for being there for me during the nightgames. If it wasn't for your patience and understanding, I wouldn't have composed myself within such a short time! Thank you too, for being a great leader and a good example for all of us to follow :)

Valdric
Thank you for helping the whole team make sure that we looked at things in all perspectives. I admire your ability to look at the littlest details and make sure the whole group doesn't miss out anything. Thank you too for your input during the htht :)

Greg
Thank you for your happyboi-spirit and your enthusiasm during the camp! Your cheer-making skills are awesome, and your energy level for games is what made the group games so fun for all of us! Thank you also, for tolerating with all the teasing haha, and of course lending all of us markers for the whole camp! :)

Valerie
Thank you for being such a sweet heart hehe! We always joke that I'm the small mama of the group, but in fact you're also a mama to us, for sharing all your rich experiences with us, and to make us feel comfortable and included in the group! :)

Louisa
Thank you for being a great leader to this group! I really admire your ability to think rationally and to speak your opinions out. Thank you for sharing with us whatever facts and life expriences you have! You are definitely not too noisy, because I won't get tired of listening to you talk! :)

Kate
Thank you for clicking so well with me! I really appreciate you stepping out of your comfort zones with me during the camp, because with you around, I felt so much more confident that I can do things that are put in front of me! I want to especially thank you for sticking by me when I was too scared for words, because with your care and patience I was able to continue the nightgames! DFTBA girl! :)

Stephanie
Thank you for being such a wonderful mama owl to all 7 of us! I am so thankful for being in your team, because you were able to guide us so well! I've learnt a lot from you during the camps, be it from the talks along the way from stations to stations, or the htht, or the debriefings! You're a role model I now look up to, and I certainly hope I get more chances to learn more from you. Thank you so so much for your care and motivation during the second day! Without your encouragements and guidance I would never have the courage to step out of my own comfort zones. Many many thanks! :)

Excos
Thank you for putting so much effort into making this camp so memorable for us! The objectives of the 'Leadership' and 'Adventure' elements are really well met! I am really thankful for this opportunity to learn so much from everybody around me. (that sounded way too cliche but hey that's really true!) You guys even make videos for us to get into the mood to play all the activities lined up for us! Thanks to this camp, I was able to make loads of new friends and create memorable experiences. Many thanks :)

OH PHEW
I'm so glad to have typed out everything
I think I broke my record of longest-time-spent-to-type-a-blog-post!
2 whole days! :O
plus the many more days where this post was just stuck in the 'drafts' page
waiting for me to contemplate about what to type
//forced laughter
anyway
this concludes my camp experiences for this holiday
1 holiday, 2 day workshops and 3 stayover camps
I've learnt so much so much so much this holiday wow

here's a song that will always remind me of HMS camps, be it HOT or LAC



deep gratitude to everybody I've met this past semester and holiday
-[chi ling]-

Leading.. Being a leader..

POSTED ON: Sunday, 13 October 2013 @ 10:16 | 0 comments

this post is inspired by the recent camps I've went
and the view points I'm mentioning was first introduced to me by a group mate of mine

being a leader isn't hard
but it isn't easy either
some people are born leaders
but for most people, it takes much effort to step out of their own comfort zones to be able to lead

I have so many questions I have to ask 
I am so confused to what truly is a leader


I find that this picture explains a lot
especially about servant leadership

I've always felt that being a leader was natural to me
second to breathing
I mean, it used to be so natural to me
I was loud, I was directive, I liked being the leader
in secondary school, it was easy too, shining above the rest and lead others
because there were so little people who actually speak up
and among those who actually do, only few would bother to take up leadership positions
thus being a leader in secondary school was a breeze for me

however in poly, everything is different
people of all sorts are gathered in the same school
more people fighting for the few leadership roles in the school
like I've said, in the past when I was among people who shy away from the limelight
it was easy to get hold of the limelight and be a step up leader
but now it is way way way harder

so many more people are actually capable of stepping out of their comfort zones
more people are eager to learn, to serve and to lead
and more people to stand under a limited space of limelight
imagine this
you were always the one confident enough to speak up
confident and capable enough to lead
but when you're placed in a group where everyone has the same capabilities as you
the same confidence as you
the same experience as you
what would you do?

the textbook answer is always easy to give:
"oh you just have to work harder and step up more
get out of your tiny shell and fight for whatever you want"
but is this really the case?
now imagine this 
a group of strong-headed people are given a topic to debate about
everybody feel the pressure to express their point of view
but nobody feel the need to take turns to speak
so what will happen?
everybody speaks, nobody listens and there will be chaos

so my question is
if you are faced with a group of confident outgoing leaders
and the competition is to see who can be a better leader
[of course, now we ignore the question of what defines a better leader]
then what happens?
will I, the one who is usually able to be a step up leader, step back to let others lead in order to minimize conflicts and frictions?
or will I take my chances and step out like all the rest, which will increase the likelihood of the previous scenario - everybody talking but nobody listening

it is complicated, isn't it
especially so when the 'fight' is real
now here is another question:
if you are a quiet leader who will only step up and speak when the situation needs you to be,
and you always find no chance to shine
will you ultimately end up shying away from the limelight?
will people actually appreciate you for stepping back to let others have a chance to lead?
how do people actually become great leaders if they are introverted and quiet? 
are step back leaders viewed as equally important as step up leaders?

there are so many questions I have
but I don't know where to get the answers from
poly has given me so many new experiences
if I was back in secondary school, I would never have thought of all these problems
but hey as you grow up, you'll learn that there are more to life than what you might have known

today's music video is a song my band might cover real soon
make sure to check it out
it's by All Time Low, by far one of my favourite bands ever



speaking about bands
Boys Like Girls is coming Singapore again!
I went to their concert last year and it was amazing
but this time I actually have strings cca when they are performing
:( I hope I am able to go catch them perform a few songs after cca!

side note: my mind is a little messy right now
if you don't understand anything that I've been talking about
I don't blame you
sorry btw
-[chi ling]-

no mood to do anything today

POSTED ON: Friday, 11 October 2013 @ 08:02 | 0 comments

today has been quite a horrible day
woke up on the wrong side of the bed I guess
even though I only managed to sleep at 4am last night (don't ask me why)
I woke up at 8am today, and I absolutely couldn't go back to sleep
woke up with a heavy heart - the type that feels like gravity is acting even more against you
managed to go about doing some chores to help my busy mum
(she has been busy for so long it wouldn't be right not to help out with chores when I have nothing to do at home)
sat down and did some photoshop for my facebook cover art and some other pictures for future blog posts
then exercised for 2 hours on the treadmill
I thought after exercising one should feel happier? no? cause of adrenaline or something?
sadly it wasn't the case for me
so I sat down to practice my guitar, piano and cajon
practiced for quite a few hours actually

today is actually quite a productive day!
but cause I'm in such low spirits, my productivity isn't making myself happy :(
is there any pills that I can eat to stop myself from being sad?
the problem is I don't even have a reason to be sad
le sighpotato

I guess tomorrow will be a better day!
tomorrow is jamming day with le band + diy session
hopefully everything will be finalized tomorrow and the next band session we'll be able to film and record something out

today's song isn't something happy, I'm afraid



-[chi ling]-

Just a quick update

POSTED ON: Thursday, 10 October 2013 @ 08:59 | 0 comments

it's been so long since i've posted
(my apologies)
just came back from a camp yesterday, and I'm still feeling tired
so I won't be doing a lengthy post today
just gonna update what's going on in my life rightnow

as I've said, I just came back from a camp
two camps in two weeks,
two totally different groups,
two different experiences,
many things learnt!
HOT Camp and LAC has been really fun
the games especially,
tbh I wished I could think of these type of games when I was planning for camps in nanchiau
I'll be blogging more on the camps (hopefully, no promises here)

Atlas & Atlantic is finally back into action!
since Jia's promos are finally over, we can finally start practicing our second song
(and probably start on the third)
after such a long time of break, I hope we are able to come up with a better cover video with each video uploaded!

next week school will be starting
can't wait to go meet my kids again!
I am not looking forward to the assignments though ><
can't afford another C+ (sobs)
but it seems like this sem's modules are all more fun than the previous one
we'll see how it goes
hope it'll be interesting!
holidays are ending, and tbh I haven't been doing anything at all really
sitting at home, being on the internet, watching shows, do some art, go for camps and stuff, work, practice instruments
that's about all actually
so much for a 'productive' holiday!
ohwell, I can't blame anyone but myself for my procrastination and general laziness

on a side note, today was a productive day!
I managed to clean up the room, do all the chores, head down to the library to lend a book, went back to nanchiau for NCYM and painted a wall art //pat myself on the back
I borrowed Matilda by Roald Dahl from the library
have been wanting to read this book since eons ago
finally got about to borrow this book!
a big recommendation if you miss your childhood and want a quick read! (:

after coming back from nanchiau, felt a little out of mood
so took out a canvas and started painting

painting makes everything else better
so therapeutic! (:

I've been feeling out of the mood for days
probably it's due to the fact that I'm tired
and I've been working my brains a little too hard, over thinking about everything
//deep sighpotato
hopefully my brain will take the hint from my mood that it's time to stop thinking bout everything
and everyone would be happier

today's music video is a cover by Tyler Ward and Kina Grannis of a song by Imagine Dragons - Demons
Honestly this song is so powerful
one of my favourite songs currently


signing off,
crazygirl96, aka weirdgirl96
-[chi ling]-

♥ Older || Newer ♥
you're my sunshine