A grave lesson learnt
POSTED ON: Sunday, 13 April 2014 @ 09:02 | 0 comments
知错能改，善莫大焉that means, as long as you know that you are in the wrong, you will have the chance to improve
(I think..)
Ever since that night,
my conscience have been bugging me
it keeps telling me "you shouldn't have gotten away so easily. I shall make you feel so awful that you can't sleep, so that you will at least have this little punishment"
I never wanted to bring trouble to anyone
I will never want anyone to be in trouble
this is a grave matter, and I am 100% aware of the gravity of it
I'm just so so so sorry to bring trouble to anyone
and I'm just so apologetic to them
(for different reasons, but nonetheless still very apologetic)
sorry for being a bad influence
sorry for not thinking properly and doing such a stupid thing (without thinking of the consequence)
sorry for disappointing you and messing up
sorry for not being mature enough to stop everything before
sorry for dragging you into this
no matter how much sorry I say
it won't change anything
the only thing I can do now is to behave myself and promise never to do it every again
and to always remember that everything comes with a consequence
I'm feeling so hot and bothered now
I should stop communicating with anyone now - least I erupt on anyone
I should go and sleep now
or go reflect
or both
suddenly, I'm reminded of this saying, and it feels so impactful to me tonight
“I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.”
-[chi ling]-
